New school year challenges also provide a chance for parents and children to start fresh
By Jeffery M. Leving SM
The start of the new school year comes with anxiety for too many parents and children, so it’s essential to take preemptive action to address the things that cause stress and seize opportunities. Like the start of a new baseball season in which every team is in first place, the start of a new school year also offers a clean slate and new opportunities.
Anxiety for a new school year is normal. Students worry about making new friends and how they will do with new teachers and curriculum that is more advanced than the prior year. Parents worry about these same things for their children and have additional fears that hopefully aren’t passed on to their kids. Sadly, in our society, many parents now have the fear of a school shooting happening at their child’s school and while the odds are still largely against that happening, it’s a real fear.
Adding to the regular anxieties this year was the higher cost of school supplies and clothes because of high inflation. This stress impacts parents and children. Children are smart and will notice if you show them how stressed you may be, which will not help them. I do not say this in a cavalier way — I know that inflation is at levels not seen in decades and this has impacted the average family in countless ways. In survey after survey, Americans cite higher prices, from the gas station to the grocery store, as a top concern. However, all parents must do their best to provide an atmosphere where their children only have to worry about their schoolwork. No child should be worried about the cost of school supplies.
That said, spending on school clothes and supplies this year has come close to matching last year’s record of $41.5 billion, according to the National Retail Federation. The group estimated that families with school children will spend an average of $874 on back-to-school shopping, the second highest amount in the survey’s history.
Wages have largely remained the same, forcing many families to do what they can to get by.
While inflation has provided another stress to the list of anxieties of going back to school, I think it is important to try and focus on the positives of the new school year.
A new school year is not only a chance for students to start off with a clean slate, but it’s a chance for parents to dedicate themselves to supporting their children. This means emotional and financial support, as well as being present as much as possible.
One example of this support is helping your children establish a healthy sleep and study schedule for school. As your children begin to dive into their studies, it is crucial to establish a schedule that helps balance sleep and schoolwork. The first few weeks of back to school are the perfect time to establish this routine.
For divorced parents, especially fathers, being present during a regular school week is important, but can be a challenge at times. I urge both parents, even if they are ex-spouses that do not get along, to put their differences aside for the sake of their children and communicate with each other. Let the other know when your children have an extracurricular practice or game, how they are doing academically, and any concerns that they have expressed. You can be stronger for your children as a team.
Of course, technology today has allowed for much of the status reports on your children’s academic progress to be known throughout the school year, so communicating with an ex who you are not on good terms with can be cut down a bit by utilizing those tools. However, despite these technological advances, it is still better for your child if you can communicate with your ex about your children rather than relying solely on information from the school. Children are observant and if they feel and see both parents caring about their progress, it can help their self-esteem and likely translate to better school performance.
Additionally, I urge divorced mothers to allow their children’s fathers more opportunities to see their children during the school year, even if that time is above and beyond the parenting time schedule that may be in place.
It also must be noted that there are things divorced fathers can do that may not require any permission or a change in parental time like calling your children to see how their day went after a tough day at school or just letting them know you are available to listen to any concerns they have in an emergency.
These are all things that both parents should be thinking about now as your children are back to school and things that will give your children the best opportunity for success. This is something, regardless of differences on other issues, both parents of every child should agree upon while focusing on the child.
A new school year is here with both challenges and opportunities. We just need to see them.
Attorney Jeffery M. Leving is the recipient of President Biden’s Presidential Lifetime Achievement Award.
He has written “How to be a Good Divorced Dad,” which was praised by President Obama and by Cardinal Francis E. George of Chicago. Follow Jeffery M. Leving on Facebook and X @DadsRights.
Hanania also writes about Middle East issues for the Arab News, and The Arab Daily News criticizing government policies in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.
Hanania was named "Best Ethnic American Columnist" by the New America Media in November 2007, and is the 2009 recipient of the SPJ National Sigma Delta Chi Award for column writing.
Email Ray Hanania at rghanania@gmail.com.
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