Movie remakes are always so disappointing

Movie remakes are always so disappointing
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Movie remakes are always so disappointing

With all of the advances, instead of being creative, Hollywood is dumbing down, pandering to our old memories remaking movies instead of being creative with new concepts, new movies and new ideas.

By Ray Hanania

Imagine, they decided to do a remake-sequel of “Mary Poppins,” the memorable 1964 movie blockbuster. What better way to besmirch the memory of a phenomenal movie than to remake it with new actors?

That’s the problem with Hollywood. They have no imagination anymore, just remakes, stealing memories of the past and trying to put new people in the roles of the great scripts in order to make money.

Lin-Manuel Miranda may be one of the great Trump haters of all time, next to the mediocre Jimmy Kimmel, but he can never even come close to the purity or talent of Dick Van Dyke, whose role as Bert, the cockney Jack-of-all-Trades, is one of a kind and unforgettable. Miranda plays a protege of Bert in this awkward effort to re-spin Mary Poppins as “Mary Poppins Returns.” Call it “Mary Poppins Flops.”

A Drive-In theater (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A Drive-In theater (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It doesn’t work.

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Of all the great things that have happened over the years, the big screen is one of my favorites. One of the first movies I watched at a downtown Loop theater was the first James Bond blockbuster “Dr. No” in 1962.

And, I watched the John Wayne movie “Rio Bravo” at the Double Drive-In back in 1959.

Going to the big screen to watch a brand new movie was an experience that can never be replaced.

Come up with something new. Imaginative. Creative. Compelling. Is it that difficult today?

They’re going to do another Dr. Dolittle. And a remake of “Top Gun.” “Ben Hur” in 1959 can never be redone!

“Carrie” in 1976 is one of the greatest horror films. They remade it twice and it failed.

No wonder people don’t go to the big screen movie theaters the way they used to go.

If I had to choose a great movie theater today, though, I would pick Emagine in Frankfort. It far surpasses the Marcus Theaters in Orland Park with better seating and a better menu of delivered food. Although I would give anything to return to the old Orland Square Cinema out lot (there were two separate theater buildings) at the Orland Mall to watch the premiere of Batman.

The lines were long back then and the anticipation was overwhelming.

There are some great new movies, though, like Quentin Tarantino’s “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood,” a truly wishful fiction about what should have happened in August 1969 when minions of Charles Manson murdered the pregnant actress Sharon Tate and three friends. The film is brilliant and makes you leave the theater remembering the victims and not the killers who all should have been executed rather than left to live their miserable lives in prisons on the dime of taxpayers.

Believe me, it’s the bleeding-heart liberals that have ruined Hollywood and made the world worry about the fate of the killers rather than the memories of the murdered.

There’s far less talent in Hollywood these days, and even less on late night television, dragged down to the curb by Kimmel and “The Hate Show’s” Stephen Colbert.

Maybe they should make a movie about Steve Allen, Jack Paar, and Johnny Carson. There was a stream of great talent that has been unmatched. The greatest late-night entertainers ever. Maybe Jay Leno and his rival David Letterman came close to greatness, but it all. Ended long ago.

Watching a remake of a Hollywood movie is like getting the same Christmas present every year over and over again.

And watching today’s late-night TV entertainment lineup is like prepping for a colonoscopy.

Ray Hanania
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